What is a top or bottom in a gay relationship

A "top" is typically the partner who takes on a more dominant, penetrative role, while a "bottom" is the partner who takes on a more submissive, receptive role. But in some relationships, these dynamics extend beyond sex. Sides prefer sexual activity that does not involve anal penetration, for many valid and diverse reasons—including a lack of appeal or physical comfort.

When it comes to your partners, communication is key — be clear about what you want and what pleases you. In a male same-sex relationship, for example, the top is typically the person who anally penetrates the other partner, known as the bottom. However, these roles can be subverted.

This dynamic has been criticised for replicating traditional, often patriarchal, heterosexual gender roles—the dominant male and the passive female. Despite what some may think, top, bottom, and vers are not terms exclusively for gay men, but descriptors that can be used for any sexual relationship — even cishet men get the strap sometimes.

Someone who is vers or versatile, for example, can enjoy either role depending on the situation or their partner. In some same-sex relationships, for example, the top may also hold more power in the relationship—being the decision-maker, main breadwinner, or gift-giver.

This can include elements of BDSM bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism, and masochism. In this context, the top usually plays the dominant role—controlling the action—while the bottom is the submissive partner who consents to being dominated, often physically.

For many of us, especially when we are young, these terms can be confusing and even scary. Can you tell if a guy is a top or a bottom just by looking at him? What matters most is taking the time to explore what works for you, free from societal pressure or judgement.

Contrary to their physical positions, for the " top, bottom, and versatile " sexual position, the man lying on his back is said to be in the "top position" and the other man is said to be in the "bottom position" In human sexuality, top, bottom, and versatile are roles during sexual activity, especially between two (or more) males.

This preference is just as valid as any other and is increasingly recognised in the queer community as a complete and fulfilling form of sexual expression. Also remember that anal sex carries a higher risk of HIV and STIs, so get clued up on protecting yourself and your partners.

These individuals often identify as sides. They can also be loaded with expectations, assumptions and social stereotypes. These terms are not always limited to describing sexual preferences, sexual activity or roles.

It can be hard—if not impossible—to untangle all these threads. Importantly, they must be consensual, with both partners agreeing to the experience and setting clear boundaries. Tops and Bottoms Beyond the Bedroom For many, being a top or bottom is limited to the bedroom.

For many, being a top or bottom is limited to the bedroom. An article by Brian Moylan sought out to find the answer. While everyone is free to live as they choose, we also have the opportunity to question and break free from such patterns, embracing more equal, flexible roles.

The Top Bottom Conundrum

But in some relationships, these dynamics extend beyond sex. People choose or end up in these sexual roles for many reasons. Beyond who penetrates whom, top and bottom roles can also relate to power dynamics during sex. They reflect personal preferences, internal belief systems, and social and cultural influences.

Many folks top and bottom without penetration, and no categorization or term is ever all-encompassing. In some same-sex relationships, for example, the top may also hold more power in the relationship—being the decision-maker, main breadwinner, or gift-giver.

Identities around being a top or bottom are incredibly diverse and complex. Many men choose not to engage in penetrative anal sex at all. These sexual preferences and roles can be fluid and may change over time or with different partners. In gay relationships, the terms "top" and "bottom" are often used to describe the sexual roles that individuals take on during intimacy.